Today I'm ill.

I have to cough or better I'm infected with cough.
I don't know what do do because my prays I think don't belong to Jesus.
I have lost Jesus now. Since 2 weeks I don't where he is. It is like he's gone. I was to bad for him or something like that. But I think I maybe know where he is. He is behind a wall. Behind MY wall. Behind the wall of Sin. I want to say sorry to every person but I can't now do this. I want to say them from eye to eye that I'm sooooo sorry But I'm ill. I want to say sorry 'tll 24th of December but only one day then there are the hollidays.I hope sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much you can not imagine that I will neverlessness say sorry.Soon I want that, very Soon.Otherwise my life sucks an my heart breaks more an more