Dearest Brother Franklin,
Your song "Help me Believe" is what I have been trying to say to God for a very long time. This is where I am in my life with God. I feel as if he and I are at war. How did you know what I was feeling? Everything in me wants to serve him but this world is beating me down. My heart has been broken so badly that I don't think I will ever recover and I am ready to give up. I use this song as my prayer to God everyday. I feel like I am in the fight of my life for my life. I have always been told that I have one of the most compassionate hearts around and I try to make it a daily goal to find someone to bless. I believe with all my heart that we are our brothers keepers. I can no longer see anything good in this world and it has changed me and made me someone I no longer recognize. People are so cruel and although the world has always been that way, I guess my blinders finally came off and what I see is too painful for me. I hardly ever leave my house because I can not stand the cruelness of this world and what we are doing to each other. I was always taught that if you do right by people, then God will bless you. I can not see that right now. Everything I touch falls apart and I am wondering if I have been a giving person because I was looking for God to pour out the blessings because I was trying to be a good person or have I been a giver strictly out of love for God. I don't know who I am anymore. I want to know his plan for me but he continues to be silent and I am afraid. Deep down inside I know he has a special plan for me that involves changing the world somehow as strange as that sounds, I just wish he would tell me what it is. This world grieves me. I can look into the eyes of strangers and see their pain and it is having an impact on my life that keeps me sad all the time. I truly want to love and help everybody but all I am ever told is that I can't change the world or that this is just how it is and there is nothing little ole you can do about it. I use to beleive that I could, but now I don't know what I know anymore. When you say in the song, "Don't you see me, I am trying so hard" I can't help but cry cause I cry out to him all the time asking if he sees me or not. How do you live in this world and keep your integrity? All around me I see people that have it all and they would not give you a penny to save your life and I have nothing hardly. It is not fair and that is really what my war with God is all about. I believe that I deserve more than I have, I know that is so stupid but that is how I feel. Let me ask you, what is the one thing most christians pray about? MONEY, that's what. I see and hear about people getting blessed with tons of money and they will not share it with their brothers. If I were given that type of money, I would help people because like I said before I believe with everything in me that we are our brothers keepers. If you can help me understand what is going on with me and God right now, please help me, because I feel like he has left me and my heart and soul can't bare it. I hope and pray that this finds it's way to you. Velisa Gorham, Raleigh NC